Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
What a time to hear this verse! I have been so physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually stretched, molded, and exhausted through support raising. There have been many days that I just wanted to throw in the towel and say, “Okay God, I can’t do this much longer, what else is there for me to do?” I have been more alone now, than all the times in my life that I’ve been previously alone put together (for those who know me well understand this is really hard for me). I have spent long moments on my knees, sobbing for God to give me the strength to push forward in this process. I have questioned His provision and sovereignty countless times. But, you know what? He has shown more sovereignty and provision through this process than in my entire 24 years of existence.
As I approach the year mark for my support raising, I am definitely not where I wanted to be percentage-wise, but I firmly believe I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be. If this process had gone any differently or more quickly than it has I would not have experienced the “peace which transcends all understanding.” I would not have let go of things I’ve held on to for far too long. I would not have discovered the victory of total surrender, I would not have fallen in to the deepest admiration for my Creator. I would not understand the importance of praying for the laborers of the harvest. I would not have fought so hard for joy that I now experience it on a much higher and deeper level.
I have experienced the fullness of Christ. Freedom from resting in His Spirit. Wisdom being used for His Glory. Rest in His Perfect Plan. Assurance of my Salvation. Trust that exceeds any borders I’ve set for myself. Joy that comes from communion with an unconditionally loving Father and I have experienced the most intimate level of prayer since beginning my walk with Christ.
All of this has resulted from an extremely difficult and trying process. I have loved support raising, but there have been moments that have been difficult. However, I wouldn’t take away any of it after seeing the work God has completed. I love the moments where I have witnessed other people catching the vision and passion I have to serve a college campus. I have loved seeing complete strangers give selflessly to the advancement of God’s kingdom. I have loved the moments when God answers prayers right in front of my eyes.
All I can say, after everything I have experienced over this past year, is DO NOT GROW WEARY. God’s plan is beyond what we could ever imagine for ourselves. When everything falls into place, it feels PERFECT. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and I promise that He will not disappoint. While things may not turn out the way we imagined it, they did turn out the way God planned it and that alone gives me contentment. I find peace knowing that this mission is in His hands.
I am excited for what lies ahead as I continue to push through support raising before serving on campus at the University of Cincinnati this fall! I feel like a piece of clay being molded and shaped into what my creator wants me to be. It’s been an adventure, but I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I cannot wait to see how else God will push me and grow me in this space. I know it’s all for His glory and that gives me so much joy!